I've
received several communication regarding the title of my book. Men love the title because they think I'm
saying it's not the man's fault, it's the woman's fault. While some women don't agree with the title
because like the men, they think I'm blaming the woman and not the man. So not true.
More often times than not, we (women) blame men for our hurt, our pain,
our unhappiness, our brokenness. And
while some fault does lie with men, we must take ownership for what we
allow(ed). We must take ownership for
our own fears. If you find you keep
attracting the same type of personality, but in different men, then at some
point you have to pause and ask yourself “why do I keep attracting this same
type of personality? What is it about me that attracts these type of men to
me?”
“The
Checklist: It's not him it's you! A woman's guide to learning who she is so
that she attracts who she deserves” is about taking inventory of
yourself. It's not a man-bashing or a
woman-bashing book. This book is about
learning who you are. I needed to get to
the core of my own issues to help me understand why I accepted what I knew was
unacceptable behavior in a relationship.
This writing ultimately helped me to discover who I am and what I
deserve in a relationship.
After
my marriage failed, I was a hot mess. I
was broke. I was broken down. I was broken.
Yes...I was broken! I know some
people don't like to admit that they are broken or were ever broken. Some people mask their truth and say things
like “broke but never broken”, “too blessed to be stressed”. Whatever!
Well, I'm not about to mask my truth.
It is what it is. It was what it
was. I was broke. I was broken down. I was broken. I was stressed. I was stressed the hell out. To sum it up, I was a broken, stressed out,
hot damn mess!
It
wasn't until after my marriage failed and while going through my self healing
process that I realized I had unresolved issues. After taking inventory of myself, I learned
that my issues existed long before I got married. So when I got married, I not only brought
myself into the marriage, I also [unknowingly] brought my unresolved issues
into the marriage. And I attracted a man
who did the same. While going through my self healing process I began to
understand the significant role my unresolved issues played in my
marriage. And not just in my marriage,
but in every relationship. It's amazing
how unresolved issues dictate your actions, without you even realizing it. So yeah, I needed this book. With the writing of each Rule, I was forced
to take an honest look at myself and ask myself some hard questions. It wasn't easy addressing my internal issues,
but it was necessary. And doing so
allowed me to let go, forgive, and heal.
It
took some time, but I'm now at a place in my life where I can honestly say that
I adore the person I am today. I'm still
a work in progress, but I'm no longer the broken, stressed out, hot damn mess I
was. I am definitely in a beautiful place
in my life today. Thank you, Jesus!
Wishing
you love, in its truth!
